Poker Quotes Funny
Feb 20, 2013 - A collection of funny poker pictures and Memes from the Internet. See more ideas about Poker, Funny, Memes. A show lives on through its reruns and its best lines. Between Jess and Nick Miller, there’s enough funny for the future generations to stumble upon and appreciate forever. Or they could just check out this site. We’ve therefore compiled a list of over 50 of our favorite New Girl quotes. Mar 19, 2014 - The most memorable, inspirational, and flat out funny quotes about the game of Poker. See more ideas about poker quotes, poker, funny quotes.
Funny Inspirational Poker Quotes
Poker players andenthusiasts have said a lot of things about this game, including funny orinspirational poker quotes. Now let’s take a look at some of them:
- “Foldand live to fold again” – Stu Ungar
- “Life,like poker, has an element of risk. It shouldn’t be avoided. It should be faced”– Edward Norton
- “Avoidpeople with gold teeth who want to play cards” – George Carlin
- “Thenext best thing about gambling and winning is gambling and losing” – Nick “TheGreek” Dandalos
- “Ifthere weren’t luck involved, I would win every time” – Phil Hellmuth
- “Trusteveryone but always cut the cards” – Benny Binion
- “No-limitholdem: Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror” – Tom McEvoy
- “Imust complain the cards are ill-shuffled till I have a good hand” – JonathanSwift
- “Thebeautiful thing about poker is that everybody thinks they can play” – ChrisMoneymaker
Funny Poker Quotes Shirt
- “I never saw a poker player’s money that Idid not like” – Oklahoma Johnny Hale
- “Poker is 100% skill and 50% luck” – PhilHellmuth
- “Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinksthey are the best, but most don’t have a clue what they are doing” – Dutch Boyd
- “Poker has the feeling of a sport, but youdon’t have to do push-ups” – Penn Gillette
- “If you always start with the worse hand, younever have a bad beat story to tell” – Chuck Thompson
- “People would be surprised to know how much Ilearned about prayer from playing poker” – Mary Austin
- “Poker may be a branch of psychologicalwarfare, an art form or indeed a way of life, but it is also merely a game inwhich money is simply the means of keeping score” – Anthony Holden
- “Aces are larger than life and greater thanmountains” – Mike Caro
- “Poker is a combination of luck and skill.People think mastering the skill part is hard, but they’re wrong. The trick topoker is mastering the luck” – Jesse May
- “Life is not always a matter of holding goodcards, but sometimes playing a poor hand well” – Jack London
- “The strong point in poker is never to loseyour temper, either with those you are playing or, more particularly with thecards. There is no sympathy in poker. Always keep cool. If you lose your headyou will lose all your chips” – William J. Florence
- “Everyone gets lucky once in a while, but noone is consistently lucky” – Doyle Brunson
- “Most of the money you’ll win at poker comesnot from the brilliance of your own play, but from the ineptitude of youropponents” – Lou Krieger
- “One day a chump, the next day a champion.What a difference a day makes in tournament poker!” – Mike Sexton
- “Poker reveals to the frank observersomething else of import. It will teach him about his own nature. Many badplayers do not improve because they cannot bear self-knowledge” – David Mamet
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Poker Sayings
- “Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.” ~ Steven Wright
- “Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards.” ~ George Carlin
- “The next best thing about gambling and winning is gambling and losing.” ~ Nick “The Greek” Dandalos
- “Money isn’t everything unless you’re playing a rebuy tournament.” ~ Unknown
- “If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time.” ~ Phil Hellmuth
- “Trust everyone but always cut the cards.” ~ Benny Binion
- “If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.” ~ Paul Newman
- “Poker has the feeling of a sport, but you don’t have to do push-ups.” ~ Penn Gillette
- “Bad beats will, from time to time, still rob you like a crack addict with an empty pipe.” ~ Rick Dacey
- “Going on tilt is not ‘mixing up your play.’” ~ Steve Badger
- “Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they are the best, but most don’t have a clue what they are doing.” ~ Dutch Boyd
- “You played that hand like a vegan.” ~ Erick Linderer (to Daniel Negreanu)
- “May the flop be with you.” ~ Doyle Brunson
- “Poker is 100% skill and 50% luck.” ~ Phil Hellmuth
- “It’s not whether you won or lost, but how many bad beat stories you were able to tell.” ~ Grantland Rice
- “I never saw a poker player’s money that I did not like.” ~ Oklahoma Johnny Hale
- “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be good at poker.” ~ Phil Gordon
- “They say poker is a zero-sum game. It must be, because every time I play my sum ends up zero.” ~ Max Shapiro
- “No river, no fish.” ~ Amarillo Slim
- “The beautiful thing about poker is that everybody thinks they can play.” ~ Chris Moneymaker
- “The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius.” ~ Julius “Big Julie” Weintraub
- “I must complain the cards are ill-shuffled till I have a good hand.” ~ Jonathan Swift
- “Old card players never die, they just shuffle away.” ~ Unknown
- “No-limit holdem: Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.” ~ Tom McEvoy
- “If you play bridge badly, you make your partner suffer, but if you play poker badly you make everybody happy.” ~ Joe Laurie, Jr.
- “To be a poker champion you must have a strong bladder.” ~ Jack McClelland
- “I don’t play any two suited cards. I play any two non-suited cards. That way I’m drawing at two different flushes.” ~ Amarillo Slim
- “Every poker player, like every fisherman, needs to have a story in a box, and most poker stories are completely uninteresting.” ~ Jason Alexander
- “Omaha is a game that was invented by a Sadist and is played by Masochists.” ~ Shane Smith
- “Poker is generally thought to be America’s second most popular after-dark activity. Sex is good, they say, but poker lasts longer.” ~ Al Alvarez
- “Dogs are lousy poker players. When they get a good hand, they wag their tails.” ~ Unknown
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